Choose Joy

It's 4:45am. 

My husband is up in an hour for work. This is the third time my littlest one, Kinsley has been up tonight. She's 7 months and yet sleeps worse now than when she did as a newborn. In just over an hour, probably around 6:30am, my toddler, Jake will wake up for the day. It's been a long night. We are in a two bedroom townhouse and Kinsley sleeps in the living room so Jake can have the other bedroom. So every time she wakes up I rush downstairs to settle her so she doesn't wake up Jake.

it's 5:00am.

I need to close my eyes. I need to fall asleep. Quickly. But now, the events for our upcoming day are running through my mind. 

It's 6:30am.

Jake is awake saying "Mommy, mommy, mommy?" I want to keep my eyes closed. My body is tired. I've checked Instagram and Facebook more times in the night during my feeds than I have all day. I'm tired. I'm grumpy. I don't want to get up yet. 

Now, I have a choice to make. 

Will I chose joy today? Yes, I am exhausted from the lack of sleep, but motherhood is a gift. I can choose to embrace the gift that God has given me or I can be grumpy and waste an hour or two or five or twenty-four sulking that I'm tired. However, I know too many friends who have had difficulty conceiving or have lost a baby or have been longing to have children but simply can't and remind myself that motherhood is a gift. A gift that my family has been blessed twice with.

So, yes I am tired. Yes, I wish I could crawl back in to bed for hours. Yes, Starbucks will be a must. Yes, I may call my best friend for a pick me up visit. But, and its a big BUT, I will choose joy. I will choose to walk into Jake's room with a huge smile on my face, saying "Good Morning my love!". I will choose to embrace the moment, the minutes, the hours, the day with my two children. Because even thought the nights are sometimes long, the days are priceless. 

If you've had a sleepless night, I understand. It could have been even worse than mine. I empathize with you. However, I encourage you to enjoy today, to embrace today, to be grateful for today, the day with your children, and choose joy.